from the horse's mouth

Gee... what's there to do when you're ugly, look like a crossbreed of Dr Zoidberg and Steve Tyler and well... have the mouth of a horse? For one you should be thankful that your Ah Lian chick can be blindfolded with dental floss, and hence she can only see your nose in tunnel vision. Also be thankful that your nose is your most attractive feature.


Steve Tyler


Dr Zoidberg


ugly guy

Allow me to offer a solution. Use your Steve Tyler locks to style a reverse ponytail. Wassat? Well, pull all your hair forward and tie it over your face. Then shave the back of your head and tattoo a good-shape face on the newly cleared scalp. Not a perfect solution to all of life's complications but it'll have to do for now. At least till medical technology catches up.

In all of that, I guess I should be thankful. Celebrate humanity.